Marriage is a challenge alone but marriage with kids involved is whole another category of its own. With millions of marriages ending in divorce, single parents take the rebound, go back out, date, fall in love, and eventually get remarried again. Combining families under the same roof can be both an exciting and challenging process. Even if you have found your true love, parents should not expect everything to be smooth sailing from here on out. You still have children to love and care for and they will determine whether your relationship with your spouse and overall family will be a success. Here are some ways and insights to help your new family adjust.
COMMUNICATE AND BE ACTIVE BEFORE LIVING TOGETHER:
One thing you want to do before even getting married and deciding to live together as family is to have a family meeting and discuss the occasion with your children. Your children are smart individuals and should be included in the family’s decision making process that will determine their living situations. This will ease your children into adjusting to be a part of a new family. Don’t leave them out of the loop because it could prove to put even more obstacles between you, your spouse, and your children. Try going out and spending time with not only your spouse but with his children as well. This will give you some time to see what it would be like to be a prospective family before actually becoming an official one.
MOVING INTO A NEW HOUSE:
For many combining families, it is better to live in a new house than to move into a spouses house. By living in your spouses house, your child may feel left out from all of the memories already established between your spouse and his children. With a new home, it symbolizes a new beginning.
Storage, belongings, and living space
When living in a new house, it is almost always impossible to keep everything you had from your old one. To solve the issue of not cluttering your house with stuff not needed, look into a storage unit, think about donating, or have a garage sale. For your kids and your spouse’s kids belongings think about what you can combine.If both of your kids have game systems, sell them and use the money to buy a new game system that they all can share in the living room.
This is a touchy subject for some spouses but it needs to be addressed and if it’s not, it could cause strife between you, your spouse, your children, and his children. It is best that you and your spouse, together, set up the rules of the household to your children. Both of you should discipline your own children until you both have a solid relationship with your stepchildren. Your children are already used to your type of discipline and there won’t be any strife between you and your spouse in the way they handle obedience.
HAVE QUALITY TIME:
Always have quality time with both your children and your stepchildren. Do stuff like:
- Have game night
- Have family outings
- Go on family trips
- cooking together
By spending more time with one another you ease your children and your stepchildren to adjusting to the new family situation.
When you have kids and you are remarrying, it can be hard to adjust to new things and experiences. By following this advice, you will have a better chance in enjoying your new family. It will be hard at first, but it will be worth it in the end.
Paul Benjamin works for EZ Storage, a self storage company in the business for over 40 years. To learn more visit: ezmini.com/self-storage-philadelphia-philadelphia-pennsylvania.aspx.